To Dhalsim, the fire-breathing yoga-practising Street Fighter

Dear Dhalsim,

How did u get this way?
You’re a fire-breathing yoga-practising street fighter, with elephants and elaborate carpet patterns in your white palace, your arms and legs they can extend so far and touch the other end. This room is not big enough for the two of us, wherever I run, I cannot hide. Because you like to shriek Yoga-Fire! and teleport right behind me.

Dhalsim, your AI is not too dull but you’re a sim. So after a few tries I learnt how to make you over-reach yourself too many times and I can jump over to you and give you my quad-hit combo that I practised many times twisting joysticks and banging buttons in dark empty arcades after school.

So now you’ve lost. And wow I finally beat you.

You’re mangled and bruised, your yoga powers spent, you hardly utter a sound, your head hung low.

But I realise even when I’ve beaten you, you still win me.

Because I can never make my knee touch my head like you. Nor teleport. Nor live in a giant palace full of riches inside a rickety wooden cabinet of electronic circuits and transistors forever.

Teach me yoga so I can beat Blanka please.

Part of the rhythm for this letter was inspired by the Portal “Still Alive” song.

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