Noose TV scripts – Underground Casinos Fight Back

I think it might be helpful to share with you some of the comedy scripts I wrote for the Noose in 2010. I’ll post these up as much as possible, perhaps it’s easier to start if you have a script format as an example, you can take a look. But please bear in mind that this is not the proper film script format. This is just a casual format used for the Noose.

Some of the stuff I wrote were selected by the producers. Most of them weren’t. I believe they have valid reasons, considering the humour, the topicality of the subject and potential reception of the audience. Anyway, i’ll still post them up as the days come to share with you.

Here’s one of the scripts – Geylang Underground Casinos Fight Back
Oh btw, usually the scripts and the finished products are different slightly. This is because of editing or improvisation by the performers. Usually, they have the comic timing smarts to make the piece more funny than it is written. Okay, enough talk, here you go:

Adrianna Wow:
With the opening of Singapore’s first two integrated resorts, the underground casinos in Geylang have decided to fight back by introducing new attractions of their own. Andre Chichak has the news.

Andre Chichak (VO):
First there was Resorts World Sentosa, then Marina Bay Sands, and very soon, Geylang will also have a world-class attraction. A private consortium held a press conference today to announce upcoming plans to revamp their underground casinos.

Puah Kiao Gui, CEO of Geylang World Resorts:
Firstly, we are not a casino. We are integrated resorts. Geylang World Resorts. We are going to build our own rollercoaster, our own theme park! (Holds up picture of GWS bldg) They have sky garden, we have our own beer garden! Watch soccer, drink beer and eat peanuts, very shiok experience. And eat finish the peanut, just throw on the floor. So nice.

(Cut to end of conference, the CEO gets up to leave, he accidentally slips on peanut shell and nearly falls but is helped by his assistant. Immediately, a tattooed man jumps in to push the reporters away, shouting angrily like a madman, “Zhou Kai! Zhou Kai!” ala Jack Neo)

Andre Chichak (VO):
According to the press release, visitors to the new Geylang World Resorts can play the latest Avatar rollercoaster ride (Thug pushes customer on a red plastic chair down the stairs – customer screams Argh! Thug completes his sentence Vatar!), and the casino will offer games like Guess the Number of Remaining Peanut Shells. (Gamblers shouting, “2! 2! 2! 3! 3! while the dealer divides a handful of peanut shells, with a stick – a very old-school gambling game)

If that’s not enough, players can also play poker with the newly hired dealers. (Cut to Unbeatables footage of Zoe Tay & Li Nanxing.)

Andre Chichak (standup): Now they say that the new Geylang World Resorts will boost our economy by providing more than 1000 new jobs. Singaporeans can become financial advisers (cut away to loansharks) or act as lookouts for the police. (cut away to Guy looking suspiciously around)

Andre Chichak (standup):
Come next year, many Singaporeans will be happy that they don’t have to pay $100 to enter this new casino. And with a new outlet for people to try their luck, hopefully their winnings will not include the HIV virus. This is Andre Chichak, reporting for the Noose.


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